ow ow ow

that is me this morning.

my next door neighbor teaches all sorts of classes at the gym we both go to. since i am a pro haven't fallen off of the machines and the free weights but have never ventured into the unknown area of 'classes' i thought i might give it a go. (read, the mirror and i are not fans so i am stepping it up with these classes)

monday i did mat pilates. as a fan of at home pilates, the class was great with no huge suprises. other than a sore rump and core which i wanted.

yesterday i ventured into the world of salsa, or for you workout fanatics, zoomba to be technical on the teaching method. first lets just say that i do have some rhythm...but i don't have that rhythm. i'm quite certain i will never ever be cast in any latin music video's and i'm also quite certain if i am able to move my hips like you're supposed too, then it will be because it is dislocated and i need to be rushed to the hospital.

i also do not think, after witnessing myself looking like Elaine on Seinfeld that i will never be able to fall back on the career choice of "exotic dancer" should i ever find myself with that as my last choice. after seeing my muffin tops wiggle and move and my hips not move as they should i am certain that they would have me on the tuesday afternoon shift when no one was at a strip club. (not that i know when strip clubs are frequented i would just guess that tuesday afternoons wouldn't be a peak time. i could be wrong, in which case i wouldn't be on that shift, but maybe the wednesday morning shift)

for one solid hour i did all sorts of shimmy and shaking. how does one shimmy while taking 4 steps forward without falling over? riddle me that shakira. i was sweating and huffing and puffing and cursing jlo for making it look like it was easy. but i did it. and after laughing at myself about 100 times i realized i like this class. it is a workout and a half. but the time flew by and it was actually fun.

today is body sculpting. while i hope that it means i will walk in and they will magically make fat fall off my body and smooth out any wrinkles, i have more of an inkling that it has more to do with me lifting heavy things and crunching other things in an effort to sculpt my own body. but i will let you know if the magician shows up. in which case i'm going to get it to give me hips that swivel while they're at it.

**update** body sculpting has no sculpter when you walk in, it was as expected. it was very hard. i got the bright deranged idea to go to the salsa class right afterwards. my legs wobble gingerly step right now and i may have to call the fire department to roll my butt out of bed tomorrow.